Creep through the night. Sleep through the sun.

I haven’t wrote in forever.
Seriously, school has taken me over and I don’t have time for much of anything. No social time or me time for that matter.
Thank goodness next week is Thanksgiving break and then two weeks after that is a month off school. I don’t think anyone understands how stoked I am.
Also, I’m on a damn diet which it’ll be a relief to have a cheat day.
I’m tired. Hungry for real food. Ready to just have a vacation.
Now I have to go to research.
Until next time…

XOXO
(I feel like I should say Gossip Girl)

archimaps: Elevation for Loew’s Canal Street Theatre, New York

archimaps:

Elevation for Loew’s Canal Street Theatre, New York

Today, I have been brought back to a place I never wanted to feel again. My faith has solely been shaken. Rarely do I ever let this happen but sometimes I want to just say to God: WHY? Why punish the best of people? I’m not saying this on behalf of myself but to see the best people being tortured by Hell tears at my heart and breaks me. I’ve been in this place two years ago and I literally felt the lowest low I have ever experienced in my life and to see the most beautiful family have to go through something inexplicable makes me feel that extreme low. When I lost my dad to a disease where he deteriorated right in front of my eyes for ten years every single day of my life, I felt weak. I couldn’t do anything to stop it. If I could closely and humanly experience Hell, that was exactly what it felt like. To see someone that you love suffer every single day, not only the victim but the family involved, it is so beyond enraging I can’t even put my anger into words and that’s why I hate the way life works. Typing this blog makes me fucking angry to be honest. 

Brings me to, why can we cure everything but cancer? Cancer is one of the largest murderers amongst us so why can’t we take it and kick it’s ass? I just want this pure Hell and evil to rid itself and I hope cancer knows I wish it to the deepest depths of the darkest Hell hole in existence…it makes me sick. Even though I get so angry with God for putting someone through this hellacious thing, He ends this suffering but I just want to save this pain for someone else that damn well deserves it. I am at a loss…my brain is blank. 

God, you have truly received one of the greatest young men to your army so you better treat him to the best. He made our lives so beautiful and fun and bright. Please guide the most amazing family, like mine, to relief. That’s all I ask from you. 

Garrett, I will never ever ever forgot that amazing laugh and smile and how handsome you were when you modeled your prom tux for me this year (such a stud :-) ). You always brought a smile to my face and you were so incredible. You touched so many lives, kid, and I’m just so devastated you suffered but you are relieved now. And God, you have truly received one of the greatest young men to your army. He made our lives so beautiful and fun and bright. Please guide the most amazing family, like you helped mine, to the end of the tunnel, no matter how long it takes. That’s all I ask from you. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


I love you.. 

Mac Miller - Clarity (Prod. By ID Labs & Ritz Reynolds) (by TreeJTV)

Clusterphucked..

Just taking a break from my school work to catch up on the good ol’ blog. 

Update on my life:

I started school last Wednesday and I’m already in the routine of: get up, go to class, eat, go to class again, come home, eat, homework homework homework, a little sleep. It’s going to be a rough semester but worth it in the end. 

ANYWHO…

Love life: Bleh… I’m giving up on this one as much as people don’t want me to but it’s not worth it to me to waste my feelings on someone that doesn’t see a future with the situation.. Also, I’m surprisingly unscathed with how I feel. Maybe I didn’t care as much as I thought? Or I’m just EH towards relationships right now? I’m just blanked out on this situation in particular. I do know, I want to settle down and have something serious. I miss that security. All in all, I’m just riding the current, going with the flow. I’m down for anyone who meets my standards and makes me feel sick to my stomach with good overwhelming feelings when I see them every single day.

Life in general: Not too shabby. I’m pretty much in love with my life, friends, and a wonderful family. They make life worthwhile. Keep me going, yadda yadda yadda. 

People: ASSHOLES. Seriously, the public should take a step back and look at how they act. If you are so unhappy with yourself, don’t act unhappy purposely. Be optimistic perhaps? It’ll put yourself in a better mood easier than you may think. Being pissy won’t make you happier? See how that works? I hope so. Everyone is blessed in some way with the ability to take life in their hands and choose their happiness. It’s a simple concept but so complex to understand…. 

Being so busy with school now, I’ll try to update as much as possible but I hope life is fantastic for everyone. 

Enjoy it to the fullest

- xo